omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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