sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
