why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
