Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
