That's intense
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
