The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
