Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
