shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
