u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
