I heard we made out
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
