omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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