honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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