Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
