Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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