Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
