Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
