it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
