you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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