She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was confusing and full of hummus
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
