I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
