i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
