You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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