Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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