I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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