i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
