Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This is classic penis vs brain.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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