DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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