If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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