I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
