I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
