Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Someone signed my nipple.
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