You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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