I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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