party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
