i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
