The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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