well I can't set my house on fire every night
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
