I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
