spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
