"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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