Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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