all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
