The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
