i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
