OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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