I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
