He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
