I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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