Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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