i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
