Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
